Cricket Cemetery goes to the movies: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I’m sure Denman will make fun of me for doing a review of the new Transformers. That’s fine. I’m not perfect. As a human, I am flawed. Ideals and beliefs swimming around in my head. Some of these I live my life by.. some I choose to ignore at certain times. I will be the first to admit when I’m wrong, but I WILL NOT apologize for the following things: EXPLOSIONS. IMPLODING PLANETS. BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. JOHN MALCOVICH. A WORM LIKE DECEPTICON THE SIZE OF A FOOTBALL FIELD THAT EATS BUILDINGS. PORTALS. ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER. AND KEN JEONG!

Dark of the Moon shocked me. It was so good I didn’t even realize it was over 2 and a half hours. 2 hours and 37 minutes to be exact. I’m not sure if it was the cocktail of drugs, or the amazing company (Pat and Jordan! I love you guys so much!) or the sense of accomplishment after kicking the shit out of this weekend but I thuroughly enjoyed Dark of the Moon. It was real good. Much darker than the previous films in the series. Shit is fucked in this one. Great story (especially for a movie about action figures). Amazing cast, including the best group of cameos I’ve seen in a hot minute. Great locations.. DC!(HOLLER) Chicago, Africa… THE MOON! I love the moon. I wonder how they filmed on the moon… (just kidding).

Let me start off by saying that Shia LaBeof really bothers me. I really don’t want to like him. I tried really hard tonight to not like him, but that fucker got me. He’s totally tolerable in this movie. I’ll even go as far as to say he did a good job. There were some moments that had me laughing out loud. Rosie Huntington Whitely plays Sam’s (Shia) girlfriend, Carly. She’s a very attractive woman, to say the least. There are some hilarious moments between the two of them and Patrick Dempsey, who plays her extremely wealthy and anger inducing boss, Dylan. I think we can all relate to the feeling of intense jealous rage. The amount of comedy in this movie was very surprising. There’s a lot, and it’s all super good. Great one liners. John Malchovich, John Turturro and Alan Tudyk offer up great cameos. The best however without a doubt goes to Ken Jeong. So fucking funny and weird… and weird. So weird. Ken plays Jerry “Deep” Wang, a very suspicious and paranoid fellow employee of Sam. Honestly I might go see this again just for the action and Ken Jeong’s performance. I love you Ken Jeong.

Now about that action…

I used to kind of always make fun of Micheal Bay. I mean dude can hold a camera and blow shit up but most of his movies have always been a a little laughable to me. Over the top, unbelievable, silly. Dark of the Moon is his best effort yet by far. The one thing that sets this apart from the other Transformer movies is SPEED. They slowed that SHIT DOWN. When the autobots are fucking up the decepticons the action is slowed down so that you can really see and understand all the mechanical mayhem that’s unfolding before you. And it’s done in such a way that really compliments the movie experience. I was blown away with the clarity and smoothness of the fight scenes. Buildings being torn apart by a DUNE-esque worm decepticon, being controlled by the almighty SHOCKWAVE!!!, Transformers pulled limb from limb in mid air. Heads exploded. Amazing chase sequences. People diving out of buildings and crashing aircrafts. Robot blood spewing from gigantic robot blade induced wounds.

Go see this movie, now. I know some people won’t agree with this review. It’s cool, I get it. All I’m saying is leave yr ego at home. Call up a couple friends and go see this movie. Maybe smoke a joint first..

Oh and Megan Fox isn’t in it. Thank God, she’s awful.

Beasts of No Nation Play Fort Reno Tonight in DC

Just a quick heads up that punk rock stage slayers, Beasts of No Nation are taking the helm of DC’s longstanding Fort Reno series tonight. Lions & Tigers & Whales were slated to play with them in NY last night, but do to some american complications, they were forced to pull out of the bill. So we are even more stoked to see them play in DC tonight.

If, for some reason, you are not familiar with the group, Beasts of No Nation, yes, does contain mem of, Trial by Fire, Darkest Hour, Majority Rule, and The Explosion, but I only mention that in hopes that fans of those groups might turn an ear in this direction.

With an incredibly tight sound, Beasts stand firmly on their own identity, and it’s monolithic in stature. Check out a little footage I snagged of the group, a year or so ago, at the Back Cat in DC:

Tonight’s lineup is:

Beasts of No Nation
Valley Tours

Fort Reno is located across the street from Woodrow Wilson High School.
All shows begin promptly at 7:15pm
and are over by 9:30pm

More info on their site

See you tonight!

Listen to this

A few weeks ago, Sean, Denman, and I saw Frank (just Frank) play at a Wierd Records night in NYC. They have an amazing sound, and surprisingly enough, it was one of the best sets I’ve seen in 2011. Here’s my favorite track off their 2010 record The Brutal Wave.


More Shameless Self Promotion

And I’m not even sorry…..

If you thought last weekend was a fucker of mothers, get ready for this one.

Tonight, though I’ll be dropping random jamz at Little Miss Whiskeys, I’ve got two epic events for you, if you live in DC, and hang around the U St. area:

First, my epic broodren in darkness, Trouble & Bass not only return to the DMV, but they bring back the mind blowing Untold!

Seriously, the last time Untold rolled through DC with T&B, and Redlight in tow, none-the-less, it was one of the best night’s I’ve ever been to. If you like electronic music, do not miss this (if you hate electronic music….totally miss this….)

Uhall Website
If that weren’t enough, I got some hommies throwing another awesome, deep bassey night in the same hood:

retrospect and plusgood
are back with another installment of
dnb, dubstep, dtempo at St. Ex all night, w/guest: cuzzin’ greg

I was actually originally supposed to be on this bill, but, due to a scheduling conflict on my end, I could not make it. However! You should go, as it’s going to be some good heady shit….And don’t worry, I’ll get with these guys about doing something r33l soon.

Check out the FB event

Friday, Jackie O and are back to smash the decks for another edition of $weat $hop at the 9:30 Backbar:

You know the drill:

Jackie O


A merciless onslaught of sex jamz

This Friday at the 9:30 Backbar


Are you ready, do you know?
I feel it too
Are you ready, I’ve got to show
I feel this for you

Again, here’s that FB even

Finally, for those of you in the, “DENMAN!? Will you shut the hell up about all this DJ bullshit!?” camp, I’ve got something for you too.

If you’re in NY this Sun, Lions & Tigers & Whales will be playing at:

The Acheron
57 Waterbury St.
Brooklyn, NY

Not only is the show with DMV homebros, Beasts of No Nation, but LTW will be slaying shit along with their new lead singer…..This Guy! So, if you’re in NY, come check the chaos out.

Here’s that FB event!

And that, my friends, is your weekend in a nutshell. I’ll be back with a real post soon. But, as you can see, I’m a busy guy right now…..

Lost Tribe Interview

With certain bands being hyped currently,  it’s no surprise that there is a spotlight on bands with an early post-punk Warsaw or Soviet Sex type sound. While LOST TRIBE might be somewhat comparable to those bands or a Post Punk sound, dig deeper and you hear everyone from Discharge, Bastard, to No Fucker. There is something more agressive than darker when it comes to Lost Tribe. The dark vibe in the songs are used not to dominate the songs,  but used to add a different dimension to the typical Crust Punk sound. In this short interview we discuss the origins of Lost Tribe, the difference in the recordings vs. live, and bullet belts. Check out the demo streaming below and a live video as well. Photos taken by Nathan Jurgenson

Lost Tribe is from Richmond. What is it like there in terms of the bands you all are in, and is the area conducive to what you guys do? 

Richmond has a very active music scene, there are a lot of bands and venues, and a lot of music going on in general. The low cost of living makes it a very easy city to do bands in.

I know some of you are in other bands, how did Lost Tribe form?
Well, Shravan (bass) is in Aghast and SSR, Cory(guitar) is also in Aghast and has played in Helldistort and Syndrome, Davey(vocals) has played drums in Mega Minge and Empty Grave, JK(synth) plays in Caves Caverns, and Kyle (drums) played drums in the lesser known band, Pissheads. Lost Tribe formed when Davey, Cory and Kyle started messing around, but once Shravan joined, the band started to take shape. JK recorded the demo and played synth on it, and then joined a few months later.
I hear almost two different bands live vs recorded, how old are the songs from the cassette? The live videos I have seen make those songs seem even more aggressive. Is that just how it comes out live or is that how the band is progressing?
The songs from the tape were made in the Fall of 2010, as for the aggressive live show that’s just how it comes out…we’re aggressive guys.
When I first heard you guys I thought of something like The accused or Discharge meets Skeletal Family. There is certainly something dark going on, was that something you wanted to bring to the forefront? There seems to be a trend developing in terms of ripping off darker post punk/goth but it seems like you all are coming from more of a Hardcore/crust/oi place, is this fair to say
Yes, we wanted to do a blend of post punk and dark 80s punk. Having never tried to do anything like this before it just came out as it did.
One of the other thing’s i have noticed is the vocals are really up front and not buried and muddled which is why I like the studio recordings, is that something you guys did on purpose? 
Yes we were very deliberate as to how we wanted our songs mixed.  Sort of delicate but aggressive at the same time.
One of the best songs on the demo is ‘The Laughter’ which seems really different from the others. What I really like about this song is the bass and drums really keep this in check but still seems to be the least post punk sounding, it almost reminds me of a dark neon christ song or something, how do songs get written and is it a joint effort?
Usually its a joint effort, the first 4 songs took about 6 months to write, and since then we have become quicker with song writing and now have eleven songs.
What is next? recordings?
We just finished recording tracks for an upcoming LP and EP.
I demand more bullet belts worn by this band, can you guys make that happen?

Purling Hiss – Lounge Lizards EP

Really, can PURLING HISS do no wrong? The new EP entitled LOUNGE LIZARDS is out on Mexican Summer, and it’s a full on rager. Michael Polizze (Birds of Maya) has been pumping out Purling Hiss recordings for a while now, each a bit different than the one before. While the Hissteria LP on Richie Records showed off a heavy dose of  how weird Purling Hiss can get without seeming forced, Lounge Lizards plays out at some points like a total 70s AM pop record.

It wouldn’t be a strech to say that “The Hoodoo” could be the jam of the summer. “Been Teased”, another highlight,  sounds like GG Allin & The Jabbers  with the Fuzz turned all the way up. What makes Purling Hiss so great is the line they walk  in terms of using both riff’s and  Polizze’s soloing without sounding like some wanky psych band trying to impress a bunch of record collector nerds. During the song “City Wide Special” it never goes into noodling terrotory, and every so often hints that Polizze has way more up his sleeve then just heavy riffs, keeping the track fresh as it progresses. I honestly can’t wait to hear what Polizze and co. are gonna do next as future recordings will be recorded with a full band. Check out the video for “The Hoodoo” below and buy the record here

getting freaky

The rise of the hook-up app on smartphones is just another foray into our long-time tradition of having sex with robots. Hook-up apps are smartphone programs that blend digital data with physical world geography all in the name of meeting people getting laid.

For example, the SceneTap utilizes cameras placed in bars equipped with facial recognition technology to tell your smartphone, in real-time, the number of people, the male-to-female ratio and the average age of those in a particular bar. (woah)

Via Jenny Davis of Cyborgology.